Week 23 – Post 1

Full disclosure, I missed the Webby for this week, and for some reason, it refuses to play on my computer so… thought I would hop on and do my required blog post prior to this week’s webby.

I missed the webby for a good reason I think, I was in MEXICO in CABO for the first time on a birthday trip with two of my besties. I did take my writings and readings and did the mornings consistently. I also did a 15 minute sit each morning so was centered.

A lesson I took away from the trip and also doing the work while gone – sometimes I think it’s vital to break from everything. Isn’t that why they are asking us to spend time in silence? So in hindsight, since I missed the webby maybe a break from doing the readings would have given me the refreshed feeling I have about work and the farm and my animals that I gained from breaking for a bit from them.

I think for that to work however you would need to make a commitment to yourself for the duration of the break and reasons. I had never been away to somewhere so warm and wonderful with not one thing on the schedule. It was an amazing feeling.

I say make a commitment because if you just don’t do the work, without thinking about it beforehand you may feel guilty. I have been dancing with these feelings of guilt around not keeping some of my promises, and since we say it after nearly everything I find my gut gets all twisted sometimes during the readings.

I’m working through these feelings lately because it’s pushing against a belief I have that when we state something that is absolute, it is generally a lie. Is there anyone anywhere that always keeps their promises? Is it me that doesn’t and so I want justification?

When I coach I suggest that leaders watch their use of absolutes so that they don’t lose credibility with their teams. The reasoning is that when a leader (person) states something like, I always arrive on time, or I am never late. When someone says that, depending on when, how, etc. most minds shift through to see if that’s true. So then it goes to thinking of a time this leader was late. So if this leader is so arrogant to announce something they always do, or never do, are they simply unaware?

To combat those thoughts of doubt, using generalism seems much smarter. Like, I strive to be on time. Or generally, I am punctual. This shows professionalism and makes sense.

Sometimes, in a heated discussion absolutes are used to hurt another. Statements like, “You always do that!” or “You never (fill in the black)” Of course those statements are false. So using absolutes inside a relationship can do damage.

Now as I write this out I realize why it has tugged at my gut. I am in a relationship with myself. If you’ve heard the story about the white wolf and the black wolf that live inside us then you know that the one who wins is the one you feed. Still, both wolves live inside us and of course, the conscious and subconscious live inside us too.

If my conscious mind insists that I always keep my promises, and my subconscious knows that’s not true, then right now, instead of my subconscious mind helping me, my conscious mind calls BS, because I believe absolutes are generally false.

Now that I’ve worked through this a question arises, do I shift my belief, or is this belief more helpful? Abraham Hicks says that a belief is simply something you’ve said over and over. I believe that absolutes are less effective than generalisms most of the time. And experience proves the point.

My realization is that keeping my belief is good for me. And as this process winds down I can create something that fits my beliefs with just a few tweaks as I move forward doing this amazing work.