Week 12 – Post 1

Uncertain if anyone else is or has experienced this… Since we are all a part of the universe I’m assuming maybe they have, I’m posting it to clear my head and who knows – maybe a post will do what a sit can!

The phrase, “I always keep my promises.” is not working for me.

Let me lay out my thinking – maybe that will shed some light on it… Maybe someone has an idea…

In my work with leaders and executives, we talk a lot about how using “Absolutes” is less than stellar with a team. When a leader or anyone really says, “I ALWAYS do whatever…” it can make the other person question if that is true or not, (lose credibility) – plus it seems quite boastful.

Example: “I’m ALWAYS on time!” until the day something happens and you are not on time. So when my clients say, “I always listen, or I always ask good questions!” I gently ask, “Always? Every time? There has never been a time you didn’t listen, or your question wasn’t good?”

If they are honest with themselves and me, they may have not been on time, etc. EVERY time (Absolute) which is detrimental to their team’s faith or belief in them. And people use absolutes in many places that are simply not true. Example: EVERYONE on the team thinks like this… ALL women are… EVERY man… It’s lazy language and something we work to eradicate.

Now inside this work we are instructed, directed, provided through the written word and in every webby the phrase, “I always keep my promises!” With enthusiasm no less.

Each time and if we’re doing the reading several times a day, which I am, I cringe, I balk, I feel wrong, and like a liar. The truth is I don’t always keep my promises, especially to myself.

One of my beliefs around subby is that what we say must be true, or what we want to be true (Present tense) I can FEEL exuberant, expectant, and giddy about the life I am creating and envisioning, and say my DMP with high enthusiasm, and then it ends with this false to me phrase, “I always keep my promises” And the doubt flows over me…

What I have been doing is simply taking the ALWAYS out and saying, I keep my promises. This has helped. And maybe the bigger issue that could use addressing is, what would it take to keep my promises? Especially to myself?

This has been a stumbling black through this process for me so far. I am not keeping some of my promises (and let’s face it there are so many to keep it’s somewhat ridiculous and makes me, at least, a liar a lot)

So there you have it. My confession, my block, my attempt to grapple with this. It feels better to have written it down, and the one or two peeps, Peaches, for instance, who read this may have an insight, which I welcome. Thank you!

2 thoughts on “Week 12 – Post 1

  1. I enjoyed reading your blog. The one thing I see that you’re doing is being an acute observer of yourself which you should be happy about. Change is never easy but keep plowing ahead. The more you’re engaged the more clarity you will obtain. Keeping your promises when it comes to what you want is essential to your development into your new reality. I think you’re seeing other people make promises that they know are impossible to keep. They have no idea how subby actually works, but you do. All you’re doing is getting rid of the cement that we have all acquired through the years. Go for it! You’ll be so grateful that you did😎

    Like

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